These Are Your Tesla Roadster Takes

We’re now a few days removed from the official unveiling of the latest iteration of Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster, and while it remains to be seen if that car (or anything that even sort of resembles it) will ever make it into production, people certainly have opinions about it. That idea is what led us to the question we asked you all last week.

We wanted to know your Tesla Roadster take. How did seeing that thing, whatever it was, flipping around, turning upside down, on a stage in Texas make you feel? Do you think it’s legit? Would ya buy one if you had the means? Well surprise, surprise, most of you are pretty skeptical of this whole thing, which is probably good. Still, we’ve got a lot of very interesting thoughts about what the Roadster is — and more importantly, what it isn’t — in the comments.

That’s enough out of me. Why don’t you all head down below and check out your fellow Jalops’ takes on the new Tesla Roadster? Do you agree with what’s been said, or are you going to slap down the $50,000 (or $250,000) for a deposit on this thing that’ll definitely be delivered in 2028?

I loved wedge cars so the shape works for me…

But shouldn’t a Roadster be, you know, a roadster?

Submitted by: cintocrunch1

I don’t hate the car’s outside looks, and I like the fact that it has SpaceX tech, but what we saw was not what an eventual production model might be. So far, it’s a working Blade Runner prop, and little more than that.

Submitted by: Tago Bastos

Talking purely about the design cosmetics…not ugly, but surprisingly derivative and bland.

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Looks like a bunch of other supercars and clearly not a roadster… The gas flying thing will never happen in a real world setting in a production car, the few prototypes they make will disappear quietly. Perhaps Third Reichs the charm?

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For a super car shape, I think the design is very bland and predictable, nothing special about it at all. The only thing about this car that was remotely interesting was the “rocket spectacle show”. The previous concept electric roadster is much more appealing.

Submitted by: Funatron & Flattering Rainbow & Q-q

If it ever comes out, I predict:

No insurance company would cover it.

within the first year 30 influencers will be killed/maimed trying to make videos in one, probably a drowning or two as they try to cross Tampa Bay without a bridge.

It will never fly, the department of transportation has altitude rules for flying over roads or in populated areas, these compressed air jets won’t cut it.

Unless they have a forward braking system while airborne, it is unable to be driven on the street, if it can’t stop, it can’t be legal to drive.

The average driver will need radar, something Tesla seems to hate, to view overhead oncoming obstacles, so when they hit their jump jets they don’t collide with the other Tesla bro trying to cheat traffic, or the overhead “Caution Merging Traffic” sign on the expressway.

I am looking forward to the stories if where they get stuck on top of objects, or off roading, or driving into the second story of an office building. Officer, I thought i pressed the auto park, not the rocket launcher.

Submitted by: Cardinal Biggles

The red car they showed off ten years back was better.

Submitted by: R. Cavaretti

I watched the video of the ramp demonstration and wasn’t impressed with the so-called flight capabilities. To quote Toy Story, that wasn’t flying, that was falling with style. I think the thrust variant is going to be a flop just like every other attempt at a flying car throughout history. There’s a reason why we have never seen airborne cars enter mainstream society despite being a staple of science fiction. Cars and airplanes have very different requirements that make it virtually impossible to combine the two.

Submitted by: Giantsgiants

The Roadster is the weaponization of Jaguar XJ220-esque blunders from the past. Deposit holders of the XJ220 were promised the fastest car in the world, with an AWD V12, and as they had to take back the promises people pulled their deposits or were sold an “inferior” product. As enthusiasts, in hindsight we see that it was still an amazing car, but Elon sees this as an opportunity for free money from his cult of gullible rich weird nerds without ever actually delivering a car.

Tesla promised outlandish specs initially to get a huge number of $50k deposits. His word was gospel enough to hold those deposits for years, but now that he’s both lost credibility and EV sports cars are much less desirable. So he needed to shift, creating a new gimmick to keep the donors happy and hopefully get a few more on board. And still, all it took to keep the cult donors happy was a few AI-generated images and a stupid video of a “flip.”

This will obviously never make it to production as anything other than a disappointing 2-door Model 3 with a new body, if at all, and Elon knows this so he needs to keep everyone strung out with gimmicks long enough to figure out how he can keep all the deposit money without being sued.

Submitted by: Wantsamuelalpharomeo

All of the features in the hype video look like a collection of things a 12 year old thought were cool in sci-fi movies. I’m surprised it doesn’t shoot lasers.

Submitted by: Samba00

Pure theatrrics. Nothing a real version will do. Catering to Musk’s sycophants who think he’s some kind of second coming. Also, what happened to the original design? At least I thought that was a reasonably attractive car, but this? Another abomination, another bland, boring, 80’s style concept car look. Major fail.

Submitted by: M J

I want to see what happens when one of those thrusters fail and the uneven thrust causes it to do a backflip onto the roof, likely crushing it and ending some techbro influencer in a spreading pool of fluids.

Submitted by: Winter cat

It was a stock pump for the upcoming Tesla/SpaceX merger, to try and show off how the companies can work together.

Otherwise, it was just a carnival show with no real world application. The gas thrusters and the fan system will likely never make it into production. Not even sure if the base car (not calling it a roadster when it’s not actually a roadster) will make it into production either.

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IF the demonstration was real and that can be verified, then it’s honest-to-god impressive that something like that can be built. However, I find the chances of the Roadster making it to production at all are low, and the technology being legal in any sense nearly impossible. This is just a stunt to boost Tesla stock.

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stock pump movie prop from a guy who thinks he’s PT Barnum and Tony Stark rolled into one. A waste of time that will only continue to waste time

Submitted by: D H & Frosteeman & JaredOfLondon